Bank Robber Donates Stolen Money to Local Charities

San Fransisco, CA – After three successful robberies, Jerry Polham, 32, admitted that he was responsible for the damage.  Months of searching led police nowhere close to the discovery that Polham, a high school art teacher was responsible.  “We have been looking for whoever had been doing this since November [2011].  It’s a blessing to see that our hard work has finally paid off,” spoke Officer James of the SFPD. 

A total of 58.3 million dollars was missing from the three banks but as the investigation continued, other than his confession, there was no evidence that Polham was guilty, or even had anything to do with the crime.  His bank account had only normal changes within the past three months; grocery bills, his usually bi-weekly paycheck from Marina Middle School, a few clothing purchases, etc. A deep search of his one bedroom apartment led to no findings of any cash of any kind either.  In an interview with Jerry Polham, he shocked the world.

“Jerry, you admitted to robbing three banks and stealing 58.3 million dollars.  Where is the money?” Polham was asked by Detective Rheinhold.

“Freedom from Hunger, Unicef, American Heart Association, and the American Cancer Society. Do I get a reward?” 

The 32 year old had robbed three banks and donated all of the money to charity.  “I wanted to split it up and give the money to several charities rather than just one,” Polham said.  “I auditioned to be on ‘Deal or No Deal’ but I didn’t make the cut so I was running out of ways to get the money.”

Stephen Baker of the Freedom from Hunger campaign was willing to comment on this criminal generosity; “We had been receiving great anonymous checks for a few weeks and we didn’t think twice!  We have decided we’ll give twenty bucks back to each bank that was stolen from.”

Unfortunately, all of the stolen money will have to be returned to the banks and Polham will have a hearing scheduled in early March.  The American Heart Association had spent approximately $7,000 from the donation on creating a new CPR technique and the banks have agreed to call it a donation.