Geometry Comes Easy to Struggling Math Student

Guilford, PA – Sixth grader, Julien McKenzie has advanced through his years of elementary school with little help from his math skills.  English and social studies have been a breeze but since the beginning, multiplication, division, and algebra have always been very tough for McKenzie.  Passing school on just a thread, 6^th grade has become a blessing for this young man. 

“I love geometry.  I can’t believe it’s really math,” McKenzie reported.  In an interview with Julien McKenzie’s teacher, Ms. Cranberry, she told us at the mid-term, Julien has a 94% in the class, equaling an A. 

“The highest grade he’s ever gotten in a math class so far is a D+,” Marla McKenzie, Julien’s mother, stated.  “When he told me he got an A on his first math test, I sent him to his room for lying to his mother.  He even asked me for a protractor for his birthday” 

It looks like young Julien McKenzie will be moving onto the 7^th grade – as long as he can keep up a C+ average in phys ed.

Man Makes it to Bathroom On Time

Oklahoma City, OK – To kick off the New Year, James Brody made it 7 miles on his ride home from work while he “really had to go.”  “It was bad but I didn’t realize it ‘til I got in the car.  It just got worse and worse on the car ride home,” Brody reported.

Brody did not get into details of what is bathroom movement involved but he called it an "emergency."  A local witness reported that when Brody sprinted from his car to his front door, he dropped his keys in his first attempt to open the door. “Yes, I did drop my keys.  My neighbor was accurate,” Brody admitted.  “It was so difficult to get that door open, let me tell you.”

The story was originally discovered on twitter when a tweet from @DidThatJustHappen tweeted “whoaaa just saw some dude sprint to his house and take a massive sh$% through his bathroom window #gross #thatwasmyneighborjamesbrody.”  Yes, that did just happen.

“Closing my shade in the bathroom was another thing I really just didn’t have time to think about,” Brody exclaimed as he was beginning to express anger and embarrassment.  As time came to tell, all it could have taken was one more red stoplight to completely change the outcome of Brody’s day, week, or even his life.  Now that’s good news.