Car Makes it 37 Miles to Gas Station

Tuscon, AZ – Miles Whalen was heading North on I-10 heading toward Phoenix when he missed exit 12.  “I was changing a song on my iPod so I missed the exit,” Whalen said.  “I knew I needed gas but it was just after the exit that my gas light came on,” he added.

The 2006 Dodge Charger that he was driving is known to get approximately 24 miles per gallon on the highway.  With the gas-light on and the next nearest gas station 37 miles away, Whalen needed a miracle.  He decided to incorporate the vehicles cruise control feature in attempt to increase gas mileage production.  He also turned off his music and his air conditioner. 

“For some reason, I didn’t have my AAA card either!  It was scary, man.  It was scary,” Whalen added.  As his travels continued, he veered off the next exit, 34 miles down the road, with his car still running. “I swear it [the gas tank] was below empty.  It reminded me of the parting of the Red Sea, a miracle!” Whalen proclaimed.   

Whatever it was that helped Whalen gain those extra 13 miles to the gas station without stalling, he and whatever family member or friend he would have called to help him, can be thankful. 

Update – After Dodge became aware of this story, it turns out this was not a miracle whatsoever, but in fact, it was an issue with the 2006 Charger.  A recall on the 2006 Dodge Charger fuel gauge is in effect.  It turns out Whalen had plenty of miles to go before he actually needed to get gas and was not even close to running out.  Again, this was not a miracle and in fact was solely a mechanical difficulty in his vehicle.  

      Actual Picture of Whalen's Gas Guage

Bank Robber Donates Stolen Money to Local Charities

San Fransisco, CA – After three successful robberies, Jerry Polham, 32, admitted that he was responsible for the damage.  Months of searching led police nowhere close to the discovery that Polham, a high school art teacher was responsible.  “We have been looking for whoever had been doing this since November [2011].  It’s a blessing to see that our hard work has finally paid off,” spoke Officer James of the SFPD. 

A total of 58.3 million dollars was missing from the three banks but as the investigation continued, other than his confession, there was no evidence that Polham was guilty, or even had anything to do with the crime.  His bank account had only normal changes within the past three months; grocery bills, his usually bi-weekly paycheck from Marina Middle School, a few clothing purchases, etc. A deep search of his one bedroom apartment led to no findings of any cash of any kind either.  In an interview with Jerry Polham, he shocked the world.

“Jerry, you admitted to robbing three banks and stealing 58.3 million dollars.  Where is the money?” Polham was asked by Detective Rheinhold.

“Freedom from Hunger, Unicef, American Heart Association, and the American Cancer Society. Do I get a reward?” 

The 32 year old had robbed three banks and donated all of the money to charity.  “I wanted to split it up and give the money to several charities rather than just one,” Polham said.  “I auditioned to be on ‘Deal or No Deal’ but I didn’t make the cut so I was running out of ways to get the money.”

Stephen Baker of the Freedom from Hunger campaign was willing to comment on this criminal generosity; “We had been receiving great anonymous checks for a few weeks and we didn’t think twice!  We have decided we’ll give twenty bucks back to each bank that was stolen from.”

Unfortunately, all of the stolen money will have to be returned to the banks and Polham will have a hearing scheduled in early March.  The American Heart Association had spent approximately $7,000 from the donation on creating a new CPR technique and the banks have agreed to call it a donation.

Talking Sea Lion Found on Pier 39

San Francisco, CA – Spotting a sea lion on Pier 39 is not an unusual site but what passerby’s witnessed last Sunday afternoon was a site for sore eyes.  This sea lion stood out slightly more than the others.  A local passerby described what he saw; “It was insane! He was talking and doing a one-man show…or a one ‘sea-lion’ show.  I felt like I was in a kid’s movie.” 

The sea lion was about 20 feet from where the pier meets the water by the corner of the pier.  Another spectator described what she saw; “he was singing while juggling fish.  I don’t really know what he was singing but it was really good…had a deep voice.” 

A marine biology student, Susan Stein, from San Francisco State University gave her best estimate that it was a green sunfish that the sea lion was juggling.  She also predicted that despite the sea lion’s deep tone, she was female. 

While our sea lion friend had no sea lion spectators, she was certainly bombarded with humans surrounding her act.  She even promised that she would be back next Sunday at 1:00 pm with CD’s for sale.

Electricity Comes Back Just Before Kickoff

Stoughton, MA – It was 4:45 pm, approximately an hour and 45 minutes before kickoff of Super Bowl 46 where the New York Giants would take on the New England Patriots.  For a die-hard Pats fan, what could go wrong?  Excitement built up in the air and a plate of wings on the way - what Patriots fans live for.  A local family describes to us the one thing that could go wrong in this situation.

“Our power went out,” Larry Davis told us.  “This is not a time to lose power.  Not right before the Super Bowl.”

Stoughton is merely twenty minutes from Gilette Stadium so you can only imagine what these folks were thinking.  “It wasn’t just me and my family either.  My wife and I had another couple over and my kids had some friends here too.  My parents were on their way,” Davis added. 

National Grid was quickly made aware of the issue that took power from 87 homes just before the Super Bowl.  Several trucks of workers were sent out to figure out the problem.  “The hardest part was going to be figuring out why the power went out.  There were no weather issues in the area that would have caused this,” said Gregory Nugnent, head of National Grid in the Norfolk County. 

At 6:08, National Grid had resolved the problem and power was restored for all 87 residents who had been spent 83 minutes in the dark.  The three National Grid workers who fixed the issue even made it back in time for kickoff. 

“We came to the conclusion that a beaver actually gnawed through some underground wires,” Nugnent explained.  The wires generally sit about a foot underground.  Nugnent added that “there was a hole about a foot deep and they could see teeth marks on the wires.  It was definitely beaver teeth marks – no doubt about it.” 

Hand Sanitizer Now Kills 100.00% of Germs

Akron, Ohio – Since 1996, GOJO Industries has been producing Purell hand sanitizer that kills 99.99% of germs.  As effective as that is, people are still getting sick.  Killing 99.99% can only do so much when we still have .01% of germs crawling around our bodies, infecting us in every which way. 

Let’s use a scenario to describe this - you sneeze into your hands before cleaning them with Purell.  Then you go to a job interview and shake your potential future boss’s hand.  If you had one million germs on your hand before you used Purell, after killing 99.99%, you still have 100 germs on you.  You will be infecting your future boss, guaranteed. 

GOJO has solved the problem.

Released earlier this week was a new hand sanitizer that kills 100.00% of germs.  This is a new revelation toward science and health.  Joe Kanfer, CEO of GOJO Industries believes this will help prevent illness across the country and eventually the world; “this could be the solution to the problem.  Think about it.  Before you still had bacteria on your hands but now you won’t.  You will have 0.00% of germs remaining on your hands.”

If other hand sanitizer-producing companies will be able to reproduce this magical way of science remains a mystery for now.

GOJO did not even stop there.  At an inside look we got in the factory, we were given a sneak peak on a new foot sanitizing spray that will eliminate 100.00% of stinky feet smell.