Serial Killer Eats Cereal

Chicago, IL – The whole city was in shock this morning when the undetectable “Texas Toast” serial killer did not strike at his usual time of 10:00am.  After six straight days of attacks, it has been reported that the serial killer has taken the day off to enjoy a nice bowl of frosted mini wheats with skim milk.

A local police chief has filled us in; “this morning, one of the officers was coming into the station and found this note and photograph from the serial killer on the front door.”  The note read, “no one dies today.”  Behind the note was a picture of the masked man with a spoonful of delightful frosted mini wheats.

“We are not sure what this means or why he is not killing today.  We had one of the interns re-enact eating a bowl of frosted mini wheats to help us out.  It took him only six minute and thirty two seconds to finish and we told him to take his time, too.”

This 392 second breakfast activity still leaves 86,008 seconds in the rest of the day to strike.

“We are thinking maybe he ate more than one bowl,” the police chief said.  “Or maybe the milk was spoiled and he got sick?”

Police are still trying to figure out why the ‘Texas Toast’ serial killer has decided to eat cereal instead of kill, but are pleased with his decision.  “Whatever his reasoning is, frosted mini wheats sure are delicious,” the intern added.