Car Runs On Whole Milk

Appleton, WI – A brand new car company, Mizola, has announced today that their first line of cars will operate on milk, as opposed to gasoline.  They will be releasing three automobiles in the fall of 2011, the Fluenza (starting at $16,995), the Carizard (starting at $22,995), and the Happy Cow (starting at $29,995).

The Fluenza, Carizard, and Happy Cow will be running on skim, 2%, and whole milk respectively.  More detailed specifications about the vehicles will be released by Mizola within the next few weeks; however, we did get to speak with the founder and C.E.O., Dr. James Derwin, about these milk powered cars.

“The idea of alternative fueled cars began with us in 2006 when gas prices began to rise.  My crew and I worked on all sorts of different potential fuels such as mayonnaise, grass, and olive oil, to name a few.  Some fuels were more pricey than gas, some didn’t work, and some didn’t work well,” Dr. Derwin told us. 

We were curious how he ended up with milk; “one day after filling up the car I had with gas, I went inside the gas station to pick up some milk at $2.59 a gallon, thirty cents less per gallon than my gas was.  I brought the idea back to my crew and two years later, kaboom – milk powered cars,” Dr. Derwin responded. 

Dr. Derwin did also tell us that the Fluenza is expected to get 48 miles per gallon of milk on the highway and that the Carizard and the Happy Cow are only expected to get more.  Not only are these vehicles expected to be great on milk, but we are ensured quality performance and very stylish vehicles as well.  Continue to check with Mizola for updated information.

Traffic Light Turns Green For Frustrated Driver

Boston, MA – At approximately 3:52pm yesterday afternoon, the traffic light on the corner of Newbury Street and Gloucester Street turned green after several minutes of patience from driver, Jim Gallagher.  “I had approached the last three lights in a row red and it was like they never turned green.  I was sitting there forever and it was just so frustrating,” says Gallagher.  “Then, finally this one did!” 

Gallagher was heading away from Boston towards P & J Bait Shop on Dorchester Avenue.  “I was gonna go a fishin’,” Gallagher said.  It was estimated that this light turning green saved Gallagher roughly 37 seconds in his travels.

“Well, at the fishin’ store, I got a real good parkin’ space.  Who knows…that space may have been taken if that light had been stayin’ red for longer,” Gallagher exclaimed.  “That awesome parking spot also saved me time.  If I had parked farther away, it would have taken much, much longer to get inside.”

It has also been reported that there are several potholes in the parking lot of P & J Bait shop beyond where Gallagher had been parked.  Had he been forced to park elsewhere, it is likely that he may have gotten a flat tire, run out of gas, or even tripped while walking into the store.